Who Fixes the Fixer

i am a fixer

from as far back as i can remember

i am the one people come to with their problems

their pain

i am the strong one

the one who gets things done

i am the fixer

i’ve taken care of my parents

my siblings 

my children

friends

and with my job

victims of all race…creed….and situation

but

who fixes the fixer

 people assume that my strong exterior goes 

all the way to the core of my being

wish they could be like me

 but

they see only the face i offer up to the world

when in reality

it’s a daily battle to keep the fragile pieces

 that make up who i am from imploding 

with the sound of a thousand fine crystal glasses

breaking

falling

tinkling

 glittery

 into a pile

on the floor

leaving only an image

like that burned into the memory of your eye from a searing light

i’ve become a master at hiding the real me

a most noble actor on this stage called life

covering up the sound of the chains i carry

and the quiet click of the door closing in my heart

so

who fixes the fixer

i can soothe her each night with wine

and music

i can make her rise each morning

  force her to put on her mask and cape

 send her out into the world 

to fight the evils of another day

but i can’t fix her

i can’t fix her

who fixes the fixer