Conundrum

clueless

how do i exist in this world

conundrum

 

God the Jokester

trying to figure out the lesson

....still

Farmers of Light

i bless this darkness

for without it

i would never do this work

i would be distracted continually

but in the dark

robbed of my sight

i must look inward

and while it is painful

i bless the wisdom

in me

that brought me here

i will try to be the best

student i can

of the night

for i sense

the quality of

myself here

is the quality that will come with me

as i walk through the rest of my days

and my willingness to really

roll up my sleeves

to do the hard work

will determine my experience here

in the long night of my soul

and will determine the length

 of my stay

and will determine

i think

even the length and quality

of my return to day

 so quiet...body

i know you are afraid

you crawl out of your skin

with the fear that

this darkness is here

forever

and quiet...mind

focus

on your mirror image

see the starlight within

and grow those points of light out

until the light swells across our internal

horizon

spilling outward

we are not in the business of

fighting darkness

we are farmers of light

so stay quiet...body

stay focused...mind

stare at the stars

quiet yourself

and know

i am alive in here

waking inside myself

Bird Murmuration on Crack

sleepless

cacophony thoughts

bipolar

I Can Carry This

one day you finally knew

what you had to do..and began

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles

"mend my life!"

each voice cried

but you didn't stop

you knew what you had to do

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations

though their melancholy

was terrible

it was already late

enough..and a wild night

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones

but little by little

as you left their voices behind

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world

determined to do

the only thing you could do...

determined to save

the only life you could save

its up to me

i

can

carry

this

Seeking

clouds shift

illumination

the heart knows

some days

thoughts dance wildly

meditation

750 words

morning pages

seeking clarity

seeking answers

seeking...

Sleepless

let the snake wait under his weed

and the writing be of words

slow and quick

sharp to strike

quiet to wait

sleepless

Becoming Legend

some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness

and they live by what they hear

such people become crazy

...or they become legend

Bent

body bent

 a question mark

be ground

be crumbled

so wild flowers will come up

where you are

Seeding the Sky

"all i want to be

is a thousand blackbirds

bursting from a tree

seeding the sky"

Truth #7

The Language of Pain

fearlessness

 is not avoiding the ups and downs of life

it's sitting with them

listening

feeling

bowing to them

 the language of pain

i'm becoming fluent
pain
changes
people

OUCH!

the good news:

someone brought me wood so i can

practice my chainsaw carving

the bad news:

i didn't jump quick enough when he pushed the 

largest piece off his truck

seriously glad i was wearing my steel toe boots

hate to have seen what would have happened

without them

Ghost Dreams

"faded hopes...just because they weren't played out in

sound...in muscle...and bone...doesn't mean they didn't

have a life of their own. ghost dreams...transparencies...

like light falling through a window...not everything is

meant to be held."

Silence

"people go silent:

there isn't any canyon deep enough to hide

only a sky and a faith and a wilderness"

my days

alone

outdoors

silence

sometimes

against all odds

against all logic

we

still

hope

Peace

bare feet

fresh cut grass

bee spirit

dragonfly spirit

butterfly spirit

birdsong

mid day meditation

gratitude

 at this moment

peace

in

my

heart

Angel's Breath

fierce winds today

crystal blue sky

cloud spirits

kaleidoscopic dancing

angels breath

visions

appear

metamorphose

whisper

i

see

you

Lost

"becoming lost is a natural

part of becoming found"

seeking
 lifeline
back
to
me

Where Are You Spark?

"so much depends upon the lighting of this fire...

so neatly laid. a platform of kindling...a floor of 

fine twigs snapped from the underside of a fir...

a nest of shredded bark over which broken pine

branches are balanced to draw the flame upward.

plenty of fuel...plenty of oxygen. all the elements

are in place. but without the spark it is only a pile

of dead sticks. so much depends on the spark."

where are you

spark?

Truth #6

Those Who Know Have Wings

the earthbound ostrich spent so long keeping

its feet on the ground and its head in the sand

that it lost the power of flight forever...whereas

the bumble bee continues to fly despite the fact

that science has proven it aerodynamically 

impossible. among all things that fly...the mind

is the swiftest. those who know have wings.

disapproval of belief systems is beyond my

understanding...how can anyone say that

only they know the nature of God?

my belief is that my God is the same

as your God...but then again...

that's my belief.

you are entitled

to yours...